If I had a pound for the number of times people have asked me what I want to do when I graduate, it feels like I'd be rich enough that I wouldn't have to do anything. And when I say people I mean everyone; from lecturers and tutors to friends and family, and even the nosey nurse I saw at my annual pill check up at the doctors. I now that they are just interested in my future and what I want to do with my life, but it can get quite frustrating when it's the opening to every conversation you ever have. For a long time I would make something up, say I was looking at various different things or that I was interested in something I didn't even really know anything about. And whilst I am looking at various different things, the honest answer to that question is 'I don't have an effing clue'.
I was watching one of Brogan Tate's recent weekly vlogs (which you can watch here) whilst at the gym the other day and something she said really stuck with me; 'life is for living'. It's a phrase I've heard multiple times before but at that moment it was exactly what I needed to hear; I seemed to have some kind of epiphany whilst running on the treadmill. It made me realise that I should live my life exactly how I want to live it, and do things that I want to do rather than simply what is expected of me. If all goes to plan I will be graduating this year at the age of 20, which is still pretty young (the average is 21-22), even if just the idea of graduating makes me feel absolutely ancient. I've definitely felt over the past few years that I'm then expected to get a 'proper' office job and start my career as soon as I finish university. But I've realised that I don't want to go straight into a 9-5 office job after spending the last 17 years of my 20 years of life in full time education.
A lot of people take a gap year between finishing school and going off to uni, doing anything from working and saving money to travelling the globe. Whilst going straight to uni after finishing my A Levels was 100 percent the right decision for me at the time, I now feel like I need to take a gap year once I graduate. Though I definitely won't be going off travelling the globe any time soon and I'll need some kind of job, I want to be able to take a year where I have very little pressure on me. The last year of university has been so incredibly stressful with multiple essays and deadlines all happening at once, and I would like to have some time where I don't have to think about deadlines and word counts and referencing before I then become part of the real world and have to worry about the stresses and deadlines of a 'proper' job.
Whilst it will hopefully be a year of less stress and worry, I don't plan on doing nothing for a year. I plan on taking the year to reflect and figure out exactly what I want to do in life, and travel more and visit my friends in all the far reaches of the UK that I don't currently have time to go and see. I have already started applying for work experience placements so I can figure out if what I've been thinking about doing career-wise is actually what I really want to do, and I will hopefully be getting a part time job somewhere (fingers crossed for an opening at my local Disney store because I would love to be a cast member and part of making the magic once again).
It's taken some time but I've finally realised over the past month or two that it's okay to not know what you're doing in life, and probably more people than you realise are going through the exact same thing. Whilst there are some lucky beans out there who know exactly what they want to do and have done since they were 7, and have all the relevant experience they need and a 10 year life plan, it's okay if you're not one of them.
Thanks for sticking with me with this very rambly stream of thoughts. I'm determined to make 2018-19 my year and hopefully putting my thoughts and plans out there in the world instead of having them just in my head will help me to make sure that happens... Just 6000 words of assignments, a dissertation and an exam to go before then though!
Love Amy xx
